New element to Stoicism 101 - Daily Reflection Journal

 I have added another element of the Course on Stoicism 101 provided by Markham’s Lifelong Learning Center. The additional element will be a daily reflection journal. Here is the description and the assignment.

It is suggested that students keep a daily reflection journal writing brief entries about how they are applying Stoic concepts to their own lives. The journal is private and need not be shared, but it is beneficial at times to share thoughts and experiences captured in the writings in the journal with others welcoming their feedback. Daily journal prompts will be shared on a weekly basis over the semester.

Daily journal prompts for week one

1.1 How well do you know what makes you tick: not at all, little , somewhat, a lot, very aware?

1.2 Name one of the most powerful illuminating experiences in your life where your self understanding was significantly enhanced? What happened to bring about this experience?

1.3 Name the five most important things that have happened in your life that has contributed to how you view yourself and the world today? They could be big things or little things. They could be good things or bad things. They could be things which at the time you know would be very significant or maybe you didn’t realize that until some time later.

1.4 What secrets do you have and keep that you’ve never told anyone else? What has motivated you to keep them secret?

1.5 What blind spots have you had that were illuminated when you got feedback from others? The feedback could be about good things or bad things. Name one of each: good and bad.

1.6 In what ways, if at all, has your own pain and suffering made you more compassionate and empathetic towards others? Give an example.

1.7 To what extent does your own self esteem and self worth depend on what others think of you? 25%, 50%, 75%, 100%? Has this percentage of indirect self acceptance changed over the course of your life or is it different in different circumstances and in different relationships?

Markham's Lifelong Learning Center course: Stoicism 101

 Markham’s Lifelong Learning Center will be offering a free course online entitled Stoicism 101 this fall semester 2026 8/31/26 - 12/19/26. The class sessions will be published on www.noisl.org.

Here is a brief summary of the learning objectives:

1. By the end of the course the student will be able to name key concepts and leaders in Stoic philosophy.

2. By the end of the course the student will have developed some experience and skills in applying these key concepts in their personal life.

3. By the end of the course the student will be able to articulate the key benefits of understanding Stoic philosophy and why it matters to them personally and to others in the world.

Course resources:

There will be many texts referred to over the semester. The main text is Stoicism 101 by Erick Cloward.

Other articles and videos will be utilized throughout the semester and links to the materials will be provided.

The class sessions will be  asynchronous so students can access the course content at any time on www.noisl.org. There will be opportunities for students to meet online to discuss their course experience if they wish. If the student wishes to participate in online meetings they should send their email address with their statement about their wish to be included in online discussions to me, David G. Markham, at davidgmarkham@gmail.com

Purpose of the course, Stoicism 101.

The purpose of this course is to introduce the student to the key ideas, practices, and values of Stoic philosophy. Stoicism is not just a model of philosophical thoughts, but a strategy to achieve a happy life which is based on a life of virtue. It is hoped that understanding and practicing Stoicism will benefit individuals, families, communities, and the world.

Class one - Introduction and overview

1. Who are the primary leaders in Stoicism?

2. What are some of the primary texts and their themes?

Homework:

Read Cloward pp. 7-40

Leave comments in the class one article on www.noisl.org 

The examination of conscience

Most attempts to understand consciousness begin with human consciousness, which is surely the most challenging case. Not only is there the self to deal with, but there is also the fact that we humans are, or can be, conscious of being conscious—we have metaconsciousness, adding a whole other layer of complexity. Then there is the role of culture and history in the shaping of human consciousness; consciousness in the West in the twenty-first century is different in important respects from consciousness in other cultures at other points in time. It’s little wonder that the phenomenon of human consciousness can seem to us so far removed from the rest of nature. P. 1-2

We are half way through the month of August 2026 in which I am reporting on my reading of Michael Pollan’s book, A World Appears: A Journey Into Consciousness. Pollan divides his description of consciousness into four components: sentience, feeling, thought, and self consciousness.

Most religions comment on and offer advice about how their practitioners should manage their self consciousness all the way from Christians who teach that every human being has been born into sin due to Adam and Eve’s disobedience of god’s command not to eat of the apple from the tree of knowledge to the nondualistic spiritualities that teach the world as we perceive it is an illusion which we make up as we project our fear, guilt, and shame onto what we perceive.

Pollan points out that not only is self consciousness the product of our neurobiology but of our cultural understandings and conditioning.

What were you taught about your self consciousness? 

As a child of seven as part of my religious formation as a Roman Catholic I was taught that before communion is was to go to confession which involved examining my conscience to identify my sins and then report them to the priest in the confessional so that I could be forgiven by god. So as I reached the age of reason at age seven I not only was taught that I had a conscience but that I was to examine it on a regular basis and report to the priest my mistakes (sins) and seek forgiveness.

Socrates taught that an unexamined life was not worth living. As a young child I was taught the same thing and given a practice to engage in examining and reporting on my findings on a regular basis.

What is consciousness for?

 What is consciousness for? Most of what our brains do to keep us alive happens automatically, under the hood and outside our awareness. So why are some of these operations available for reflection? When did this capacity emerge in evolution and why? And then this: Is it within our power to change our everyday default consciousness? Could that be one of its functions—to give us a way to reflect on our automatic behaviors so that we might transcend them and transform ourselves? P. xxx-xxxi, A World Appears by Michael Pollan

Question: What is consciousness for?

Answer: The function of consciousness is to come to know, love, and serve God. (Our Higher Power). It is one thing to be aware and self conscious. It is another thing to be conscious that one is aware and self conscious. What purpose does this awareness of our consciousness serve? It allows us to become aware of Life. We aren’t just living. We are aware that we are living? Is this a path to transcendence and salvation? With this consciousness we get to choose between the ego world with all its illusions and shadows or returning to become One again with our Transcendent Source.

An Unexamined Life Is Not Worth Living

 It’s entirely possible to go through life without worrying about the “problem” of consciousness—what it is and how it came to be. In fact, it takes a certain kind of mind for “the problem” to arise—one that is self-conscious, or aware that it is aware, and marvels at this mystery (which is, when you stop to think about it, astounding). P.xxix A World Appears, Michael Pollan

Some people live examined lives and some don’t. The degree to which a person objectively examines their own life is directly related to their mental health. Without self awareness a person is the victim of emotional and cognitive forces that they are not aware of. 

Awareness of one’s own functioning is the first skill out of twenty one in Cindy Wigglesworth’s model of spiritual intelligence. 

Markham’s motto is “If you can’t name it you can’t manage it so what is it that is influencing you? Do you have a name for it?”

How would you define consciousness?

The fact that all of us have an intuitive sense of what consciousness is doesn’t make it any easier to define. The simplest definition is “subjective or felt experience” or, to prune the redundancy, “experience,” plain and simple. “Awareness” is another serviceable one-word definition. P.xxvii A World Appears by Michael Pollan

Socrates said that an unexamined life is not worth living and the bumper sticker says that an unlived life is not worth examining.

Do you live an examined life? What percentage of the population that you know personally would say live examined lives?

What is an examined life? It is being conscious of your consciousness. To what extent are you conscious of your consciousness: never, rarely, sometimes, often, always.

Consciousness - Integrative Information Theory

According to IIT, every such moment of consciousness shares the same five specific qualities: It is “intrinsic” (that is, it has an internal perspective); it is “composed” of many distinct phenomenal parts (think of the way the experience combines elements of perception, memory, feeling, imagination, etc.); it is “integrated,” or unified (these elements are joined together in a single experience at a time); it is “definitive” (it is this and not that, in other words); and it is “bounded” (it has an edge beyond which the conscious perception doesn’t go).

Integrative information theory to explain consciousness isn’t completely satisfying. I like the idea that it proposes that consciousness is not located in the brain but is created beyond the mechanical operation of the brain itself.

ITT reminds me of the concept of “selective perception” which means that we become consciously aware of only that with which we pay attention. People with ADHD have difficulty with selective perception and are very distracted by various stimuli. Because of the ADHD they have difficulty focusing and concentrating unless they hyper focus.

Any rate, the attempt to articulate some of the characteristics of consciousness is somewhat interesting and helpful: intrinsic, integrated, definitive, definitive, bounded.

In everyday terms we talk about different kinds of consciousness such as ”self consciousness,” “cosmic consciousness,” “examine one’s conscience,” “ being conscious and unconscious.” The big question is “does consciousness survive physical death?” Do you think it does? If so, how?

Scientific materialism isn’t going to cut it.

That night, Koch lay awake in bed, wondering why any brain state should feel like anything. How did one bridge the gap between physical neurons and mental feelings? “I began to see that there’s no way to squeeze a phenomenon like consciousness out of some ions sloshing around in a brain,” he told me. This didn’t mean the search for neural correlates should be abandoned. “Whether you believe in materialism or panpsychism or whatever, we can agree that there are physical mechanisms in the brain that correlate with consciousness. But finding those mechanisms is never going to explain how consciousness arises.” p. xxi A World Appears by Michael Pollan

When it comes to the concept and experience of “consciousness,” the linear, reductive methods of science aren’t going to cut it. There is something more mysterious going on than can be explained by physical materialism. What is that mysterious something more?

Monthly book club - A World Appears by Michael Pollan

 Growing old and growing up

This month, August 2026, there will be a series of articles about the ideas expressed in Michael Pollan's book, A World Appears. The book is also being discussed on the Allnonfiction book discussion group during August, 2026. You can join by going here.

The main questions which A World Appears explores are ‘What is consciousness” and “from where does it arise?”

Before we get too excited about exploring these questions it is important to understand that nobody knows yet. Homo sapiens is just beginning to explore these questions scientifically although it has been explored in philosophy, psychology, and the arts for centuries and even millenium.

The bottom line observation is “how it that we are aware that we are aware?” In psychology this is called “metacogntion”. In spiritual models the word I like best for this phenomena is “witnessing.”

I find that this awareness that one is aware grows as a human being matures if they do. We all grow older but not everyone grows up and those that do grow up  do to different levels. Who is the most grown up person you know? On a scale of 0-10 with 10 being fully aware and actualized and 0 an infant how grown up are you?

Hell on earth

Q: What is hell?
A: It is thought system based on lies and deceit. Pontius Pilate said when he condemned Jesus to death, "What is truth?"

Q: Is the current Trump administration based on lies?
A: It is the primary modus operandi.

Q: Is there a better way to govern?
A: Not only is there a better way to govern, there is a better way to live one's life not based on lies.

Q: Where does one find Truth?

A: The Truth is found in the nondual Oneness of our Transcendent Source. All else is illusion. Don Juan, according to Carlos Castaneda, calls this awareness "a separate reality" which requires that we drop our personal identity which fills immature people with terror.

Q: How is a person to manage this terror at the loss of their personal identity?

A: With Love. When one has to choose a course of thinking and action, they can ask themselves, "What would Love have me do?"

Q: Isn't the loving thing not to lie?

A: Yes, not to lie and decieve others but most of all not lie to oneself.

Q: How does one not pretend to be someone they're not to fit in and get along with others?

A: Heidi Priebe wrote, "We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we're capable of living, even if that means we have to be alone for a very long time."

ACIM workbook lesson #200 - There is no peace except the peace of God

 There is no peace except the peace of God.

The metaphysical model of A Course In Miracles is based on the idea there are two worlds. The first is the world of God from which we separated ourselves at our incarnation and the second is the world of the ego in which we are socialized and conditioned to believe that it holds the things that can make us happy.

Slowly, we learn that the world of the ego has been false and we have been told lies. The things of the world of the ego are impermanent, constantly changing, coming and going providing infatuation and grief. In the world of the ego there is no peace but ultimately only pain, anguish, and sorrow.

However in the world of God, the world of the Oneness of Love, there is tremendous joy and peace. It has been there all the time. We have forgotten we have left it. Most of us slowly realize that there is no peace except the peace of God.

In Alcoholic Anonymous, it is suggested in step eleven that we seek this conscious contact with the World of God. It is simple if we choose. All we have to do is turn our egos over to the care of God as we understand God, our Transcendent Source.

In Unitarian Universalism, we covenant together to affirm and promote the love for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part. The seventh principle calls us to cosmic consciousness where we abide with our Transcendent Source, the Ground of our Being.

Today, it is suggested that we continually remind ourselves throughout the day that there is no peace but the peace of God.

ACIM workbook lesson #189 - I feel the Love Of God within me now.

 I feel the Love of God within me now.

Supposing we could set all our cares and worries and resentments and fears aside and just relax into the Loving Presence of our Transcendent Source? Wouldn’t that be great?

In Alcoholic Anonymous, it is suggested in step eleven,that through prayer and meditation we enhance our conscious contact with the benevolent presence of God which is our natural inheritance.

In Unitarian Universalism, we covenant together to affirm and promote the love of the interdependent web of which we are a part. As the Buddhist monk said to the hog dog vendor, “Make me one with Everything.”

Today, it is suggested that we periodically take a couple of deep breaths, relax, go within, and let all our worries in the world of the ego go so we can enjoy the peace of God. Then we say, “I feel the Love of God within me now.”

Notice the good things that happen to you throughout the day and acknowledge the blessings saying simply “thank you for showing me Love.”

ACIM workbook lesson #188 - The peace of God is shining in me now.

The peace of God is shining in me now.

The peace of God is not only shining in me now, it has always been shining in me. I have just failed to be aware of it. The idea in today’s lesson is to recognize the peace of God within me, acknowledge it, and enjoy it.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, it is suggested in the second step, that we come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity. How about that idea?

In Unitarian Universalism, we covenant together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and encouragement to each other's spiritual growth. This encouragement can take the form of sharing the peace of God which we have become aware of shining within us.

Today, it is suggested that we take three deep breaths, relax, turn within and become aware of God’s peace shining deep down within us. Then smile and open our hearts to the goodness around us. We can bask in the peace of God which is shining within each of us if we become aware of it.

This awareness of the inner peace of God is what some call “meditation.” Nowadays some call it “mindfulness.” Sometimes I like to think of it as “going with the flow.”

Set aside 15 minutes today to sit quietly and just go within and from that space watch the flurry of thoughts which some  call “monkey mind.” The space from which you are watching the monkey mind chatter is the sweet spot of peace.

A Course In Miracles (ACIM) workbook lesson #187 - I bless the world because I bless myself.

I bless the world because I bless myself.

The law of the ego world is one of scarcity. The law of the Spirit (Love) world is one of abundance. I can’t give what I don’t have. I can’t possess what is not mine. 

The law of the world of Spirit (Love) teaches that we don’t divide, we multiply. I bless the world because I realize that I, myself, am blessed.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, in the twelfth step, it is suggested that we strengthen our recovery by giving it away to others.

In Unitarian Universalism, we covenant together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth. In this acceptance and encouragement we ourselves are strengthened.

Today, it is suggested that we regularly, throughout the day, bless the world as we realize that we ourselves are blessed. A way of blessing the world is to do a random act of kindness. The more acts of kindness the better. Can you do three or more today?

A Course In Miracles Workbook Lesson #186 - Salvation of the world depends on me.

Salvation of the world depends on me.

“Salvation” in A Course In Miracles is a return to the non dualistic Oneness of God. When the monk asks the hot dog vendor to “make me one with everything” the monk is asking for salvation and the awareness of salvation depends on the monk.

Salvation is ours for the asking, and in fact, has always been ours, but we have forgotten it so what we are asking for is the conscious awareness of our natural inheritance which is the Oneness with our Transcendent Source.

In Alcoholic Anonymous, in step three, it is suggested that we not only ask for salvation but actually engage in it by deciding to turn our wills and lives over to the care of God as we understand God.

In Unitarian Universalism, we covenant together to affirm and promote the acceptance of one another and the encouragement to spiritual growth which is the salvation we facilitate when we ourselves and others return to the Oneness from which we separated ourselves in our incarnation into our earthly bodies.

Today, it is suggested that we remind ourselves frequently that salvation of the world depends on us, on me. The monk became frustrated when the hot dog vendor didn’t give him his change when he gave the vendor $5.00 for a $2.50 hot dog so the monk asked the vendor, “Where’s my change?” and the vendor said, “Oh monk, you should know more than anyone that change comes from within.” The vendor is reminding the monk that the salvation of the world doesn’t come from without but from within him and it is up to him to choose to attend to it.

How it works: Discerning God's will

 

St. Paul said in his letter to the Corinthians "If God is with you who can be against you?" You and God are a dynamic duo.

Peace arises when we bring our will into alignment with God's will for us. What is God's will? It is perceived through a process of discernment which begins simply with asking the Holy Spirit to guide you and then listening, listening deeply, and paying attention to the inklings that arise.

How it works: Dying a peaceful death

 

How it works: Creative activity nourishing one's interior spiritual life

 

Using our creativity is a way of extending God's love into the world by creating something that is good, truthful, and beautiful. Some people say that the three characteristics of God are truth, goodness, and beauty. One of the ways to determining the quality of one's interior spiritual life is to rate the level of truth, goodness, and beauty that you experience in your life and share with others.

Spiritual value in reading Run For The Hills by Kevin Wilson

For those dedicated to the journey of spiritual growth, Kevin Wilson’s novel Run for the Hills offers a surprisingly profound map of the human heart, wrapped in the guise of a quirky American road trip.

While Wilson is celebrated for his eccentric and deadpan humor (Nothing to See Here), this novel strips away the magical realism to dig into the raw, everyday spiritual work of forgiveness, identity, and the sacred nature of chosen community.

The story begins with Madeline "Mad" Hill, who lives a quiet, hyper-insulated life with her mother on a Tennessee farm. Her predictable existence is disrupted when Reuben, a half-brother she never knew existed, pulls up in a PT Cruiser. Armed with the findings of a private investigator, Reuben is on a cross-country quest to gather their shared father’s abandoned offspring and confront the man who left them all behind.

As they drive west, collecting two more siblings along the way, the novel shifts from a simple family drama into a deep exploration of the spiritual themes that echo ancient wisdom traditions.

Each sibling knew their father under a different name and a completely different identity (a crime writer's dad, a basketball coach, a TV cameraman). He was a man who constantly tried on new lives, shedding them when they got difficult. For the spiritual seeker, this hits on a profound truth: seeking total validation or closure from the person who broke you is an illusion. The siblings must learn to stop looking to their flawed creator for answers.

Forgiveness in this novel isn't a dramatic, cinematic moment of tearful embraces. When the siblings finally track their father down in California, the reunion is awkward, unresolved, and starkly human. Wilson beautifully illustrates that spiritual healing doesn't require a perfect apology. Instead, grace is found in accepting what is, rather than mourning what should have been.

The real miracle of the book isn't the destination; it’s the vehicle. These four strangers, bound only by a shared wound and a fraction of DNA, find their souls knit together through shared storytelling. They discover that while our biological beginnings are an accident of nature, building a sanctuary of mutual support is a conscious, holy choice.

"Healing doesn't always come from the person who hurt you. Sometimes, it comes from the people who were hurt just like you."

If your spiritual practice involves looking honestly at family baggage, releasing resentment, and learning how to belong to yourself and others, Run for the Hills is a beautiful, light-filled companion. It reminds us that our paths to wholeness are rarely straight lines—sometimes, they require a chaotic road trip with absolute strangers who happen to carry the exact missing pieces we've been looking for.

Spiritual Takeaway: A masterclass in radical acceptance. It shows us that we can surpass the limitations of our past and find a sacred home in the family we choose to build along the way.

Markham's rating is 4.5 out of 5. I recommend it to people struggling with family baggage.

Spiritual insights from the book "10 Minutes 38 Seconds In This Strange World" by Elif Shafak

 Elif Shafak’s novel 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World offers a profound exploration of human consciousness, resilience, and the interconnectedness of souls. The narrative hinges on a fascinating scientific and spiritual premise: after the heart stops beating, the human brain remains active for exactly 10 minutes and 38 seconds. During this fleeting threshold between life and the afterlife, the protagonist, Tequila Leila—a sex worker in Istanbul—recalls her life through sensory memories.

When read through a lens of spiritual exploration and inner growth, the novel yields several deep insights into the human condition, grief, and the nature of the soul.

1. The Liminal Space as a Sanctuary of Truth

The entire first half of the book takes place in a profound liminal space—the threshold between the physical plane and whatever lies beyond. Spiritually, this suggests that the mind possesses an innate capacity for deep, unburdened reflection when stripped of immediate worldly distractions. In those final minutes, Leila is not defined by her trauma, her social status, or the violence inflicted upon her; instead, her consciousness becomes a sanctuary where her essential truth is preserved. It implies that our inner life holds an enduring sanctity that the external world cannot corrupt.

2. "Water-Families" and the Spirit of Belonging

One of the book's most moving spiritual frameworks is the distinction between "blood-families" (biological relatives) and "water-families" (the chosen families we bond with through shared suffering, love, and understanding).

• Leila’s biological family rejects and fails her due to rigid religious dogmatism and patriarchal shame.

• Her "water-family"—a marginalized group of five outcasts in Istanbul—embraces her fully.

From a perspective of spiritual intelligence, this highlights that true spiritual kinship is rooted in empathy, mutual recognition, and unconditional acceptance rather than mere biology. It suggests that healing from profound alienation occurs when we find souls who align with our inner essence, creating a sacred space of belonging where dogma failed.

3. Sensory Memory as a Gateway to Gratitude and Presence

Each minute of Leila's remaining consciousness is triggered by a specific sensory memory: the taste of spiced goat’s stew, the scent of lemon and sugar, or the smell of cardamom coffee. This structure offers a poignant lesson in mindfulness and presence. It suggests that the sacred is often found in the ordinary, fleeting moments of physical existence. Even in a life marked by severe hardship, the soul clings to these sensory anchors of beauty and connection, illustrating an inherent capacity for resilience and gratitude.

4. Dignity in Marginalization and the Cemetery of the Companionless

Shafak takes the reader to the Cemetery of the Companionless (Kilyos), a real place in Istanbul where the forgotten, the unidentified, and the socially outcast are buried without headstones or names—only numbers.

The spiritual insight here is a stark critique of institutional or rigid moral structures that strip humans of their inherent dignity. By giving Leila and her friends a vibrant, deeply compassionate voice, the novel asserts that every soul possesses sacred value. True spiritual wellness demands that we look past societal labels to honor the unseen and the marginalized, recognizing that dignity is an birthright, not something granted by social conformity.

5. The Continuity of Love Over Material Reality

In the latter half of the book, Leila's chosen family risks everything to give her body a proper, dignified burial. Their actions demonstrate that love is a powerful spiritual force capable of transcending fear, legality, and even death itself. The physical body may fail, but the ripples of love and devotion left behind in the hearts of others create a form of continuity. It beautifully illustrates how communal grief, when channeled into collective action and honoring a loved one, becomes a path toward healing and sacred closure.

A Core Takeaway: Ultimately, the novel suggests that while the physical world can be incredibly harsh and fragmented, the human spirit possesses an extraordinary capacity to synthesize meaning, find beauty in the margins, and achieve a state of wholeness before it returns to the source.

I give the book 4.5 out of 5 stars. It might be a good book club discussion book.

 

Reading books can help fulfill a need for increased spiritual awareness.

What I do know, or think I know, is that children, like adults, read to fill psychic needs. Perhaps they get comfort and reassurance from reading about happy families; perhaps they want to read what’s scary in order to realize the safety of their own situation; perhaps they yearn for vicarious adventure. Long after the time when they insist that caregivers reread their favorite books and then reread them some more, many children reread for themselves the works that offer them security.

Spacks, Patricia Meyer. On Rereading (pp. 52-53). Harvard. Kindle Edition. 

I have long intuited that I read to fulfill my psychic needs. The psychic needs I read to fulfill are curiosity and concern. Fiction describes a moral universe that sets up certain rules, norms, attitudes, motivations and decision making. These components of a moral universe have consequences that can benefit or harm.

I have always been interested in what makes people tick and why they do the things that they do starting with myself, my family, my friends, my neighbors, my country and society, and then cultures and people totally different from myself and my world.

This reading fiction to better understand myself and others serves me very well in developing my skills in empathy and compassion in my personal and professional life. If I read about moral universes I am unfamiliar with and didn’t understand as well as I would like during the first read, this lack of understanding would be a good motivation for me to reread.

Two of the twenty one skills in Cindy Wigglesworth's model of spiritual intelligence are #6 Awareness of Interconnectedness Of Life and #7 Awareness Of The World Views Of Others. Reading books, both fiction and nonfiction, is a way of increasing one's spiritual awareness of self and others and the universe we are living in.

I will be posting some book reviews here of books, both fiction and nonfiction, that highlight spiritual themes.

Wisdom: Knowing what you don’t know

Zan Boag wrote in issue 50 of the New Philosopher “ While intelligence can be demonstrated, expertise displayed, and opinions aired with confidence, wisdom is much harder to spot. It often appears as hesitation rather then decisiveness, silence rather than speech; a refusal to act when action is expected.” p.3

I would tell my Social Work students that one of the most important attributes of a good Social Worker is to know what you don’t know. If you know what you don’t know you are motivated to do some research, seek consultation, refer to a resource more appropriate than one’s own service competence.

I also remind my psychotherapy clients that sometimes not doing something is doing something. Knowing when to act and when to retreat is one of the hallmarks of wisdom.

Knowing what you don’t know allows a person to investigate and inquire out of curiosity and a search for new information, meaning, purpose, and truth.

Socrates taught that one of the hallmarks of wisdom is to become increasingly aware of how much one doesn’t know.

To act with certainty, rigidity, and the need to be right at all costs can do great harm to individuals and relationships.

Boag writes further “Modern life doesn’t appear to reward wisdom. We are encouraged to decide quickly, speak confidently, and defend our views. Yet wisdom often requires the opposite: the willingness to pause, to revise, and to accept that the situation at hand may not fit our preferred narrative.” p.3

The need to be right makes people do stupid things. Rather than admit doubt which they think may show weakness, they try to fit round pegs into square holes frustrating themselves and damaging the things around them.

Admitting doubt, tolerating ambiguity, recognizing and acknowledging when one is wrong, or could be wrong is a sign of a special kind of strength called “resilience.” Resilience allows a person to be flexible and bend rather than be brittle, fragile, and shatter.

People deserve second chances, third chances, fourth chances and the encouragement to search for a better way. The ability to shift gears, to consider options, to be open to other possibilities is another of the hallmarks of wisdom.

Peter asked Jesus, “How many times do I need to forgive my brother, seven?” Jesus replied, “No. You need to forgive 70 times 7.” Matthew 18:20-22

Jesus was very wise.

Wisdom is knowing the difference between what you can control and what you can’t.

According to Stoic philosophy what will make a person happy is not money, status, power, possessions but virtue. The Stoic philosophy describes four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, temperance, and justice. I add a fifth which is kindness.

For next several weeks Nurturing One’s Interior Spiritual Life will be exploring descriptions and practices which facilitate the development of these virtues in one’s life starting with the virtue of wisdom.

There are many factors that contribute to wisdom, the most significant might be discerning what one can control and what one can’t control. This idea was first described by the Stoic philosopher Epictetus which he taught to Marcus Aurelius who describes it in his famous book, Mediations. Today we know it as the Serenity Prayer which is taught in twelve step groups.

Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

A corollary of the Serenity prayer is knowing what matters. Some things matter more than others. The third of twenty one skills of Spiritual Intelligence according to Cindy Wigglesworth’s model is “awareness of values hierarchy.” When one is aware of one’s values hierarchy they are better able to set priorities. Sometimes I ask my psychotherapy clients, “Finish this sentence: ‘The three things that matter the most to me in my life are __________, ___________, and ____________.’”

Wisdom is knowing what ultimately matters and is most important. Osho taught that there are some things that are essential to a person and many more things that are nonessential. I suggest to my psychotherapy clients that they pick their battles carefully. Some things are worth fighting for, but most things in life are not. How do you tell the difference? In answering this question we circle back to where we started in this article: What can you control and what can you not?

Do you believe in love?

To premise your mattering on your poetry, flaying yourself raw so that you can touch the world skinless the better to take it in and transmute it into art . . . and then never to know whether anything you wrote was any good? To live out every day in the presence of such doubts is to live with unease, your whole life at the mercy of your art.

Goldstein, Rebecca Newberger. The Mattering Instinct: How Our Deepest Longing Drives Us and Divides Us (p. 17). Liveright. Kindle Edition.

Not knowing whether your work matters is a common feature of artists and human service workers. We do our best and never know where efforts land. This is where faith comes in. We continue to work not because we see and enjoy the product of our labors, but because of faith.

Do you believe in love? How do you know that it matters? Does knowing whether it matters or not influence the degree to which you are willing to love?